i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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