carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
