I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
