he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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