I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
