i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How does it feel to date your dad?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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