Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
