i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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