It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
