just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
