Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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