haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize