Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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