drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
