i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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