sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
