Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
