I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
