Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
