So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
