Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
