On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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