Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
