are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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