is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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