pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
