Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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