having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
