so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
