dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
