Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
