Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
