So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
