hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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