it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
