party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
