I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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