I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
