Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
