didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
