The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
