Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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