Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
That's intense
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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