He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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