I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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