Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
