If i come over, it means nothing
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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