batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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