Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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