Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
